hotwomenhotflashes.com

I wish I had watching the Today Show so I could have seen this little tyke with the Mohawk and tattoo.  It’s not only parental abuse………its visual assault. I am sure that everyone who saw this kiddo probably had to do a double take because of his look…………and as for this future TWIXTER with the mohawk, does he know that he is a bit out of style…that Mohawk was sooo 10 minutes ago…I guess he a little young to recognize his obvious fashion suicide…. they must be parking this little bugger in front of a lot of bad TV.

Since he’s picked his look out all by his little bitty self…was mom sporting a mullet????…and then to hear the mom say he looked like this because “he wanted it”. I am sure he wants to eat a gazillion chocolate chip cookies for breakfast but lets hope that doesn’t mean this mom plunks down the glass of milk to go with them!!

Talk about your attempt at “self-esteem” gone astray…………this mom HAS no clue as to what giant can of worms she has just opened…………here is my take…

……….there is a future homicide (or at least prison time) for ONE of these involved: either the mom, who has now opened the door to having this kiddo do anything and everything that makes him feel good, or the mowhawed-one learning anything he wants he gets.

Mom will finally hit critical mass and take matters into her own strangling hands.  THERE’S a court date. Little junior has already experimented with hair do’s and body art so his next step could be with motorized vehicles, like the one he will probably receive for Christmas topped off with a big red bow - you know the one I mean, those little play cars with big batteries -  mini drivers at the wheel tooling around the neighborhood. Little Mohawk/tattoo boy will want to do more than just cruise around …..he will probably want to knock garbage cans over and then run over kitties… “he wanted to do it”………at this point mom goes nuts, grabs said kiddo, smacks him on the bottom……………….kiddo dials 911 to report on abuse………..mom goes behind bars.   Tyke runs away to a tee-pee.

We remember the few things we actually LET our 3-4 year olds do that would help boost their self-esteem…like let them color outside the lines and not correcting them…………letting them play music with pots and pans and never holding our hands over our ears…………letting the little girls put mommies make up on knowing we could take it off ASAP. This stuff was CHILD’s PLAY compared to the Mohawk and tattoo…………..yikes…….maybe the mom was living vicariously through the kiddo……….she really wanted the Mohawk and tattoo….but knew she just couldn’t pull it off!!…We can only hope.

Lorraine 

*TWIXTERS are basically “young adults” in their late teens and early 20’s who are taking FIVE TO TEN YEARS longer to grow up and become financially independent.  Many of us mid-lifers are part of a generation of parents who have, due to guilt, overindulgence and politically correct nonsense having to do with instilling “self-esteem” in our children, created these TWIXTER monsters and are now stuck with them because we have no idea how to take care of themselves. 

Excuse me, but I am nauseous right now.  Seriously nauseous.  I was just watching the Today Show and Al Roker was outside talking to the crowd.  He came across a mother holding a kid who looked to be between 3 and 4 years old. 

This kid had a MOHAWK with shaved head on either side and a TATTOO (I’m praying, hoping, wishing it’s temporary).  Al Roker asked the mother whose idea it was to shave his head like this?  She said with a BIG PROUD GRIN (this is what was really making me nauseous):  It was HIS idea.  HE WANTED IT. 

This little kid had a very smug look on his face and I was thinking, “Where are the police…there should be lots of police in the middle of NYC…and why aren’t they ARRESTING this mother immediately for Code S&NPD (Stupid & Negligent Parental Decision???).  I’m pretty sure it carries a penalty of up to 3 months in jail and LOTS OF community service as well as about 10 different parenting classes which she and whoever the father is (Let’s hope and pray and wish that there is an active father somewhere here) must attend daily until they get it.  What’s this kid going to do when he’s a teenager?   Has anyone thought of that?  One thing I know is that he’s on the fast track to Twixterdom for sure.

Lorraine,

A good friend of mine sent this to me recently.  It is hysterical and so true! 

My only caveat is that the Boomerang Baggage generation, the 20 something’s, need to hear this message.  Talk about late bloomers…

Mary,

My usual heightened state of anxiety has now been kicked up a few notches after reading your blog.

I had been sailing along with only a few worries doing their merry-go-round in my mind but now just being reminded of all there is to worry about….I’m a nervous wreck!!  I might have to make a mad dash to either my medicine cabinet, my yoga mat or to my cupboard for some chamomile tea.  It’s Armageddon no doubt!!

Who knows if we pass the anxiety gene through our DNA or if it is just learned by sitting at the dinner table hearing our neurotic nervous parents blurt out their concerns and challenges…we unknowingly load our kids up with our own angst and then fret when we see them fretful.

I hope Cassie realizes she is a LONG way from the possibility of Alzheimer’s disease….you and I can wring our hands about that disease for sure, along with world peace or lack of, mandated fluorescent light bulbs that might give us all migraine headaches and cloned food showing up at the grocery store without anyone letting us know.

Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.  ~Author Unknown

….what exactly does that mean??  Now I am REALLY worried!!

Lorraine

I walked into the house the other day and Cassie was reading a book.   Being instantly proud of the wisdom of my 20 year old daughter to be reading rather than remoting the various reality shows which require only an IQ in the double digits, my heart swelled with pride.

On further examination, turns out the book she was reading was called, “The Memory Bible”.

I said, “What’s that about?”  She said, “I’m worried about getting Alzheimer’s, and this book is teaching me how to keep my memory.”

Oh no, here we go again with Cassie’s neurosis about her health.  Lorraine, do you remember when she was in high school and she sent me an urgent text message telling me she needed a HEART SCAN ASAP as she was sure she had clogged arteries?  Or the time she needed an emergency dermatology appointment because she was sure her birthmark was really deadly melanoma in disguise?

So, after I spent a large amount of time trying to convince Cassie there was nothing to be concerned about, the next day, Brent, the 25 year-old sends me an article about how to prevent Alzheimer’s.

Is there a message here?  Fine, I admit it.  My mother had Alzheimer’s, two of her sisters have or had Alzheimer’s, her father had it.  Why am I not paranoid or neurotic about this?

I asked my son if he was worried about my memory.  He assured me he wasn’t, just that he was worried about my brothers and sisters.  Sounds like a cover up to me.

So, all this is backlash from my 30’s when I was neurotic and had self-Munchausen’s disorder when I was sure the tingling in my feet (a result of my addictive overuse of  Stairmaster’s) was being caused by a spinal cord tumor that was going to kill me at any minute. 

It’s one thing to be a silent neurotic—I mean when you’re a mom, you need to keep the duct tape handy and keep these premonitions of doom to yourself.  But NO, NOT ME, I had to SHARE this with my young impressionable children at the dinner table with outbursts like,  “I’m going to die of a spinal cord tumor!”

Dave should have committed me then and there before I passed on the “there’s something wrong with me” phobias.

And why don’t I ever obsess and worry about Alzheimer’s given my family history?

All I think about are the worry wrinkle lines between my eyes and how I can save enough money for the next Boot treatment.

Talk about denial!  Is there some clinical name for people who worry about things they shouldn’t and don’t worry about things they should!

Lorraine, don’t say a word.  Just leave me alone to keep company with my denial and my wrinkles…

Lorraine, your timing about the baby name remorse is eerie.  I just came across this note my son Nate wrote when he was 16.  The main point of his note was that he wanted to make it ILLEGAL FOR PARENTS TO NAME THEIR CHILDREN.

Here’s his note in its entirety:

“My first name is Nathan.  I don’t necessarily like this name. It’s much too formal for me. I think the only name given to me that fits my personality is my nick name, “Nate”. It’s simple like me. That’s why I like it. It also lets others know that I am not one to mess with. With a name like “Nate”, people think that I must be a bad ass and I am. So it fits me perfectly.  Although there is a deeper meaning behind my first and middle names, which both are Hebrew and mean “gift from God.”My mother says that when she became pregnant with me, she was nursing and using every kind of birth control possible at that time. Since I was conceived through all of that, my mother decided that I was a gift from God so she named me Nathan (I tend to agree with my mother on this one).My name is not very memorable. It is pretty common and ordinary. That’s why I have to work harder to get people to notice or remember me.Sometimes I wish my name was Javier. You will never forget a person named Javier. It just stands out. A lot more than Nathan.I think that they should make a law against naming your children. It’s cruel. I think you should have the right to choose the word that will be used to address you for the rest of your life.When I have kids, I’m not going to name them. They will be known as “boy” or “girl” until they chose a name that fits themselves. And if they later on decide that they don’t like the name they gave themselves, then they can change it. Of course I don’t know if that’s such a good idea if it was my choice. My name would be “Javier Badass Namagachi” and I don’t know if we want a bunch of Javier Badass Namagachi’s running around”.

So, Lorraine, this is my next prediction. The next thing we have to worry about with our Twixter kids is that they’re going to sue us because they don’t like their names. I can see it now: TWIXTER to self: “I’m outta money, don’t want to work too hard. I know. Will sue parents for the horrible name they gave me that has basically ruined my life and is the reason I have no money. Will contact personal injury attorney right now”.

Mary

We have all had remorse on some level during our lifetimes, including buyer’s remorse when we purchased a house, a car, or furniture.  AND let’s be honest, we have all had marriage remorse when we secretly want to trade in the husband for a different model or at least a Golden Retriever who would be less needy and only require one meal a day.

I still experience Food remorse when I order a salad and secretly covet a cheeseburger or a fruit cup when I openly crave an ice-cream sundae; but I had never heard of Baby Name Remorse.

Apparently 10% of parents experience this change of heart regarding their kiddos name and go the gamut of legally changing the moniker before the child is knee-high to a grasshopper.

The major reason given for this name switcheroo is that maybe Junior looks more like a Don than a John.  Anna looks more like an Amy and Zelda definitely presents like a Zoe.

I get it…………I just never had this problem.  I suffered for months over the names I would give my children, studying every baby-name book ever published and putting first names with last to see how it would play.  Since I never knew the gender of my kiddos until the actual delivery, I was ready with the name and never wavered.……..one female name, one male name.

I honestly picked the names out to please ME (and my husband), not the kiddos that would be stuck with them.  Parents don’t have a crystal ball in order to determine that the name will fit the personality. I liked the name, they got the name. It was my take that they would just fit into the personality of the name……or just be themselves with their name.

Now, if one spends enough time pondering the name they are about to endow their children with they will steer clear of the possible legal swap.  If they get sloppy and bestow  their daughter with a name like  “Sandy Nipple” (I swear I had a teacher in junior high with this name) or their son with the likes of  “Jack Hoff”……….their remorse will land them in front of the courthouse with the “I CHANGED MY MIND” forms in hand.

Lorraine

1. Living in Boulder, Colorado, I’ve learned NEVER to say “Merry Christmas”.

2. Instead I’ve learned to say:

“Please accept with no obligation, implied or explicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish yo u a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee”.

3. NEVER NEVER wear fur AND say “Merry Christmas” at the same time.

Mary